Going through a breakup or divorce is already challenging, but dealing with constant threats from an ex can make the healing process even harder. No one deserves to feel unsafe or intimidated by someone they once trusted. If you’re experiencing this, it’s important to know that you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to protect yourself and regain control.
This post provides practical steps to handle threats, protect your well-being, and move toward a safer future. If you’re looking for more guidance, explore our article on How to Rebuild Confidence After Divorce.
1. Understand That You Don’t Deserve This
The first step is understanding that no one deserves to be threatened or intimidated. Your ex’s behavior may stem from a desire to control or manipulate you, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. These actions—whether they involve messages, phone calls, or spreading rumors—can deeply affect your mental health.
Remember, this is not your fault. If you’re struggling with self-worth, check out our guide on Rediscovering Yourself After Divorce for tips on rebuilding confidence and strength.
2. Document Every Threat
Keeping a record of threats is essential for your safety and may be critical if you choose to take legal action. Here are some ways to document these incidents effectively:
- Save Messages: Keep screenshots of threatening texts, emails, or social media messages.
- Record Phone Calls (If Legal): Check your local laws to see if recording calls is allowed where you live.
- Write Detailed Notes: For in-person encounters, write down the date, time, location, and a summary of what was said or done.
Maintaining clear records can help if you need to seek a Restraining Order or other legal protections in the future.
3. Limit or Cut Off Contact
Reducing or cutting off contact with your ex is often the safest option. This can be challenging if you have children together, but tools like court-approved parenting apps can help manage communication solely about the children.
- Block Their Number: Prevent calls and texts from their number.
- Adjust Social Media Privacy: Make your accounts private and remove your ex from your followers or friends list.
- Use Communication Apps: Apps designed for co-parenting, like OurFamilyWizard, create a record of communication and limit emotional interactions.
For more advice on co-parenting strategies, visit our post on Healthy Co-Parenting After Divorce.
4. Reach Out for Support
Facing threats from an ex can feel isolating, but you don’t have to handle it alone. Build a support network to help you through this tough time:
- Friends and Family: Share what’s happening with people you trust. They can provide emotional support and help you think through decisions.
- Support Groups: Join local or online groups for individuals dealing with similar situations. Connecting with others who have been in your shoes can be empowering.
- Professional Help: A therapist can help you manage anxiety, fear, or stress caused by these threats. Therapy is a key tool for building resilience; learn more in our guide on The Benefits of Therapy After Divorce.
5. Take Legal Action if Necessary
If threats persist or escalate, consider taking legal steps to protect yourself:
- File a Police Report: Report any incidents that make you feel unsafe. This helps build a documented record.
- Seek a Restraining Order: A restraining order can legally prevent your ex from contacting or approaching you. Learn more about how to get a Restraining Order After Divorce.
- Consult a Lawyer: Speak with a lawyer who specializes in family or domestic issues to understand your rights and options.
Legal action can feel intimidating, but it’s a powerful way to protect yourself.
6. Prioritize Your Mental and Emotional Well-being
Facing constant threats can take a toll on your mental health. Protecting your emotional well-being is just as important as physical safety:
- Practice Self-Care: Activities like exercise, reading, and spending time with supportive people can help reduce stress.
- Breathing Exercises: Simple deep breathing techniques can calm your mind during moments of anxiety.
- Therapy or Counseling: Consider professional support to help process fear and stress. Our post on Coping with Divorce Anxiety offers more tips.
7. Remember, You Have the Power to Build a Safe Future
Facing threats from an ex can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t define you or your future. Each step you take—whether it’s documenting incidents, setting boundaries, or seeking legal help—is a step toward a safer, happier life.
You are stronger than you realize. Focus on your healing, lean on your support system, and trust that brighter days are ahead. You deserve peace, respect, and a life free from fear.
For more resources on moving forward, explore our blog on Life After Divorce.

